Themes: Breathing (2) Whisper (4) Clinging (18) Making the best of it (79) Lazy days/lie in (89)
Notes/warnings: Yet another Paine/Gippal, some angst, with a bit of sap thrown into the mix!
Setting: Pre X-2 (Crimson Squad days)
Summary: Is what they already have enough? Paine's thoughts are contradicting each other again.
He was being awfully talkative tonight. Usually at this time of the night Gippal was sound asleep next to her even as she lay awake, listening only to his breathing. Not that Paine minded this change, of course. She rather liked talking to him like this, as he held her. It was… comforting.
She tried not to scoff as he whispered sweet words in her ear. Although she wanted nothing more than to stay there with him, she was certain that those words were hollow, just as hollow as their “relationship.” Sometimes she wondered if he even realized what he was saying, or if he just said it automatically. Did he say these things to every woman that he slept with? And why did it bother her so?
“Hey,” he whispered as he kissed her temple, “What’s the matter? Even you’re never this quiet.”
“Just tired, I guess,” Paine whispered back, holding back most everything that she wanted to say. She didn’t even want to admit to herself that she may have cared for Gippal as more than a friend. She didn’t want to mess up what they already had, but was it really enough?
She heard him chuckle softly. “You’re not as good a liar as you think. What’s up?”
He held her closer. “C’mon, you’re my…friend. You know you can talk to me.”
She smiled at his hesitation before using the word ‘friend,’ for a moment speculating that he, perhaps, could be thinking the same thing. No. She knew Gippal, he wasn’t like that. If he had something to say, he would say it outright. Perhaps she should just make the most of the situation. She would get over this infatuation eventually.
“Thanks, but I’d rather not,” she spoke coldly, hoping that would deter the Al Bhed. She had seen firsthand that they key to many people’s undoing is always wanting more. If she kept a good enough hold on what she already had, there would be no need for any more.
That got her another chuckle out of Gippal. “You know what your problem is? You think too much.”
“And you don’t think enough,” Paine countered as Gippal slightly shifted his position slightly so that he was looking at her.
“You’re probably right,” he said before kissing her lips softly. “But that’s why we’re so good together, right?”
She couldn’t help but smile, a smile that only he could bring out in her. She kissed him on the cheek before lying down to sleep. “Goodnight, Gippal.”
Paine was finally able to sleep, even with the confusion of her hopes and thoughts. She always prided herself on her patience, and for the moment, just being with him was enough. Everything would work out… she hoped.