Themes: Breathing (2) Whisper (4) Fake (15) Unlucky in love (28)
Summary: His thoughts and longings keep him awake at night
Setting: During X-2, though it is rather general. Use your imagination :D
He checked the time again, realizing it had only been five minutes since he did it last. He tightly shut his eyes, only wanting to sleep, but his mind was too active to shut down even if his body was weary.
He tried concentrating on his breathing to calm his mind, timing each breath and trying to focus on only that. It bothered him, though, that only his breathing could be heard, that it was the only sound in the room.
He opened his eyes and rolled over to stare at the wall. How he despised silence, he supposed that was why he was always so energetic and talkative, but at night, all he wanted was someone to whisper with, someone to break the silence. He wanted… no, needed someone to share himself with.
Brother shivered. It was times like these that the loneliness that he felt really got to him, but he would never let it show. He put on a charade when he was around others. He was obnoxious, a joker, however he knew he needed to rid himself of the façade before it consumed him. But… he had been putting on this show for so long, would anyone take him seriously now?
Sleep continued to avoid him and he finally sat up, a chill having settled upon his bare arms and chest. Leaning up against his pillows, he began concentrating on his breathing again, trying to ignore that thought that no matter how long he tried to push the feelings away, he was still alone.
This wasn’t the first time that sleep had evaded him. He often had this trouble because when he was by himself was when he reflected on the day, and it wasn’t usually a good reflection.
He felt like the room was too big, like it was almost unnatural for just one person to occupy it. That was a reason why he craved a lover to share it with. He always seemed to be unlucky, for lack of a better word, with matters of love.
Brother silently cursed himself. It was the damn charade, the one that was supposed to protect him from harm was his curse. It was because of it that no one took him seriously or gave him a second thought. But he had gotten used to it, or he supposed.
The thoughts kept repeating until his body willed his mind to quiet and he finally fell into sleep. He’d think about it later. <lj-cut text= "Insomnia>